conspiracy of the universe

nobody knows just why we're here
could it be fate or random circumstances
and if the universe conspired
to melt our lives to make us fuel and fire
then know where ever you will be
so too shall i be

you'll be safe here - rivermaya

many people talks about the fate and the conspiracy of the universe.
am i believe it ? maybe. because too many events that can called coincidences in this world.

i got a job to documenting a dance competition. awalnya sih males untuk ngambil kerjaan itu. kerja seharian dengan fee yang kecil, ga untung dan malah dapet cape. dan lagi di hari yang sama gw sebenernya ada workshop komik yang sepertinya rugi kalo ga diikuti. tapi berhubung lagi butuh uang, dan mau nambah pengalaman, akhirnya gw ambil juga.

then, i went there, dan mulai kerja moto in lombanya. ada beberapa cowo keren sih, hahaha XD but, that's it. cuma lewat di otak gw, 'oh, thu cowo keren', buat pemandangan sesaat disana dan subjek foto yang menyenangkan. memang ada 1 orang yang menarik perhatian gw dari awal, tapi berhubung gw ga kenal, dan gw ga bakal minta kenalan duluan sama dia, jadi ya buat dipandangi aja deh.

sampai di akhir acara, temen orang itu nyamperin gw, nanya nama dan pin bb. gw shock, blushing, sempet nge blank, dan akhirnya gw jawab dengan jawaban paling mengecewakan dalam hidup gw, 'gw ga pake bb…' ._____.

then he asked my number, and we waving goodbye. apakah ini salah satu konspirasi semesta dalam hidup gw ? kami bertemu di dalam suatu acara, dimana gw sebagai fotografer bayaran dan dia peserta lombanya, dimana gw ga kenal dia maupun temen-temennya, gw ga tau nama, kampus, umur, asal-usul dan sama sekali belom pernah bertemu dia sebelumnya. our link is waaay too far.

tapi Tuhan menggerakan hati gw untuk ngambil job itu dan mengorbankan workshop gw, dan Tuhan menggerakan hatinya untuk ikut kompetisi itu, dan memberikan keberanian padanya untuk menyapa gw duluan. karena kalau dia ga melakukan itu, mungkin gw ga akan terlalu mikirin dia the way i do now. karna sebelumnya gw lebih tertarik sama temennya, dan cuma karna dia nanya pin bb, otak gw mendadak dipenuhi sama dia.

will we meet again ? will he contact me ? i don't know. but i believe, kalo dia memang jodoh gw, Tuhan bakal mempertemukan kami lagi. Tuhan bakal membuka jalan bagi gw untuk lebih mengenalnya lebih jauh lagi. if no, then he's not the one for me.

apakah manusia harus pasrah sama takdir ? dan hanya menunggu jodohnya datang sendiri ? i don't think so. memang jodoh bakal datang pada saatnya, tapi kalau ga ada usaha juga dia ga akan sampai. misalnya aja kayak usaha gw yang ngambil job itu. gw bisa aja mengambil pilihan ga mau kerja dan malas-malasan di rumah, atau ikut workshop. tapi kalo gw memilih jalan itu, gw ga bakal ketemu dia. atau usaha dia yang mau menyapa gw duluan. kalo dia ga melakukan itu, gw masih naksir temennya sampe sekarang.

tapi usaha sekeras apapun kalo memang ga jodoh ga bakal jadi juga. misalnya kayak di sinetron-sinetron, ada yang rela melakukan apa aja demi mendapatkan orang yang dicintainya, menghabiskan bertahun-tahun mendampinginya, tapi dalam sekejap orang itu bisa direbut orang lain yang lebih menarik perhatiannya.

jadi, menurut gw sih, lakukan aja usaha semampunya. selanjutnya takdir dan konspirasi semesta yang akan menentukan.

because of you - after school

아직도.. 나 그대를.. 잊지 못해
I never forget boy, I never forget boy
Ajikdo.. na geudaereul.. ijji mothae
I never forget boy,I never forget boy
I.. still.. can’t.. get over you
I never forget boy,I never forget boy


헤어진지 벌써 몇년이 지났는지 몰라
그대 생각만 하면 자꾸 눈물만 흘러
오늘따라 왜 그렇게 네가 보고플까
창밖의 빗소리가 내 맘을 흔들어 놔
He eojinji beolsseo myeot nyeoni jinatneunji molla
Geudae saenggak manhamyeon jakku nunmul man heulleo
Oneul ttara wae geureohke niga bogo peulkka
Chang bakkwi bissoriga nae mameul heundeureo nwa
Can’t remember how many years it has been since we broke up
But I cry every time when I think about you
Why am I so eager to see you today?
The sound of rain droplets leaves my heart shaken up

사랑하지 말걸 그랬어
정 주지 말걸 그랬어
붙잡지 말걸 그랬어
왜 이렇게 나 혼자 아파
사랑하지 말걸 그랬어
정 주지 말걸 그랬어
붙잡지 말걸 그랬어
왜 이렇게 나 혼자 아파
Sarang haji malgeol geuraesseo
jeong juji malgeol geuraesseo
Butjapji malgeol geuraesseo
wae ireohke na honja apa
Sarang haji malgeol geuraesseo
jeong juji malgeol geuraesseo
Butjapji malgeol geuraesseo
wae ireohke na honja apa
I regret giving you my love
I regret getting attached to you
I regret holding you back
Why do I have to face the pain alone?
I regret giving you my love
I regret getting attached to you
I regret holding you back
Why do I have to face the pain alone?

난 항상 너만의 장미가 되려던 내 맘을 아니
이제 조각 난 사랑의 마침표가 되었다는걸
눈물이 밀려 와 메마른 입술이 젖어
이젠 어떡해 그댈 잊을 수 없어
Nan hangsang neomanwi jang miga dwiryeodeon nae mameul ani
Ije jogaknan sarangwi machim pyoga dwaetdaneun geol
Nunmuri millyeowa memareun ibsuri jeojeo
Ije eotteokhae geudael ijeulsu eobseo
I tried to be your only girl
And did you ever understand my heart?
Now its become the compass
Of broken love
Tears are flowing down
And soaks the dry lips
Oh what should I do,
Now I can’t erase you out of my mind

너 때문에 많이도 울었어 (매일 밤 난)
너 때문에 많이도 웃었어 (그대 때문에)
너 때문에 사랑을 믿었어 (Woo boy)
너 때문에 너 때문에 모두 다 잃었어
Neo ttaemune manhido ureosseo, maeil bam nan
Neo ttaemune manhido useosseo, geudae ttaemune
Neo ttaemune sarangeul mideosseo, oh boy
Neo ttaemune, neo ttaemune, moduda ilheosseo
I cried a lot because of you (I cried every night~)
I laughed a lot because of you (Because of you)
I believed in the love because of you (Wooh boy~)
I’ve lost everything because of you

정말 답답답해 갑갑갑해 막막막해 너 없는 세상이
내 말을 씹어놓고 자존심 짓밟아놓고
내 맘을 찢어놓고 왜 나를 떠나가
Jeongmal dap dap daphae, gap, gap, gaphae
Mak mak makhae, neo eobtneun sesangi
Nae malmameul sshibeo nohgo jajonsim jit balba nohgo
Nae mameul jjijeo nohgo wae nareul tteonaga
I’m speechless, suffocating and lonely
The world without you has
Chewed out my heart
Stomped on my dignity
Torn apart my heart
So why did you leave me behind?


그 날도 비가 왔었지 한참을 그댄 말 없이
나를 바라보기만 했어 어어어
흔들리는 눈빛과
애써 짓는 어색한 미소가 이별을 얘기해줘 줘줘줘
Geunaldo biga wasseotji hanchameul geudaen
Mareobshi nareul bara bogiman haesseo
Heundeulli neun nunbitgwa aesseo jitneun eosaekhan
Misoga ibyeoreul yaegi haejweo
It also rained on that day
You’ve stared at me wordlessly
You’ve stared at nothing else but me
Those trembling gazes,
And the awkwardly forced smile
Speaks of our separation

사랑하지 말걸 그랬어
정 주지 말걸 그랬어
붙잡지 말걸 그랬어
왜 이렇게 나 혼자 아파
사랑하지 말걸 그랬어
정 주지 말걸 그랬어
붙잡지 말걸 그랬어
왜 이렇게 나 혼자 아파
Sarang haji malgeol geuraesseo
jeong juji malgeol geuraesseo
Butjapji malgeol geuraesseo
wae ireohke na honja apa
Sarang haji malgeol geuraesseo
jeong juji malgeol geuraesseo
Butjapji malgeol geuraesseo
wae ireohke na honja apa
I regret giving you my love
I regret getting attached to you
I regret holding you back
Why do I have to face the pain alone?
I regret giving you my love
I regret getting attached to you
I regret holding you back
Why do I have to face the pain alone?

나보고 떠나라고 할땐 언제고 떠난다니까 어쩌고
미친 사람 취급만 해 정말 힘들어 Boy slow down
아무런 말도 못한채 울어
Nabogo tteonarago hal ttaen eonjego tteonan danikka eojjeogo
Michin saram chwigeup manhae jeongmal himdeureo boy, slow down
Amureon maldo mothan chae ureo
You’ve told me to leave
And the moment leave
You treat me as if I’m insane
It’s just too hard (boy slow down)
Then I cry silently and wordlessly

Cause I want to stay next to you
My love is true
wanna go back to when I was with you

너 때문에 많이도 울었어 (매일 밤 난)
너 때문에 많이도 웃었어 (그대 때문에)
너 때문에 사랑을 믿었어 (Woo boy)
너 때문에 너 때문에 모두 다 잃었어
Neo ttaemune manhido ureosseo, maeil bam nan
Neo ttaemune manhido useosseo, geudae ttaemune
Neo ttaemune sarangeul mideosseo, oh boy
Neo ttaemune, neo ttaemune, moduda ilheosseo
I cried a lot because of you (I cried every night~)
I laughed a lot because of you (Because of you)
I believed in the love because of you (Wooh boy~)
I’ve lost everything because of you

정말 답답답해 갑갑갑해 막막막해 너 없는 세상이
내 말을 씹어놓고 자존심 짓밟아놓고
내 맘을 찢어놓고 왜 나를 떠나가
Jeongmal dap dap daphae, gap, gap, gaphae
Mak mak makhae, neo eobtneun sesangi
Nae malmameul sshibeo nohgo jajonsim jit balba nohgo
Nae mameul jjijeo nohgo wae nareul tteonaga
I’m speechless, suffocating and lonely
The world without you has
Chewed out my heart
Stomped on my dignity
Torn apart my heart
So why did you leave me behind?


I miss you I need you 꿈 속에선 아직도 I'm with you
I miss you (Miss you) I need you (Need you)
시간을 되돌려 Wanna kiss you again ma boy
I miss you, I need you Kkum sogeseon ajikdo I’m with you
I miss you, I need you
Shiganeul dwi deollyeo wanna kiss you again, my boy
I miss you I need you Even in my dreams I’m with you..
I miss you I need you
Rewind back the time I wanna kiss you again ma boy

맘이 너무 아픈데 견디기 괴로운데
너는 어디서 뭘 하니 나 울었어 참 많이
너 없인 난 못 살어 내게로 돌아와줘 날 떠나가지마
Mami neomu apeunde gyeondigi
Gwiro unde neoneun eodiseon mweol hani, na ureosseo cham manhi
Neo eobshin nan mossareo
Naegero dorawajweo nal tteonagajima
My heart aches
It’s too much to bear
And where are you? (I cried a lot)
Can’t live without you
Please come back to me
And stay with me


너 때문에 많이도 울었어 (매일 밤 난)
너 때문에 많이도 웃었어 (그대 때문에)
너 때문에 사랑을 믿었어 (Woo boy)
너 때문에 너 때문에 모두 다 잃었어
Neo ttaemune manhido ureosseo, maeil bam nan
Neo ttaemune manhido useosseo, geudae ttaemune
Neo ttaemune sarangeul mideosseo, oh boy
Neo ttaemune, neo ttaemune, moduda ilheosseo
I cried a lot because of you (I cried every night~)
I laughed a lot because of you (Because of you)
I believed in the love because of you (Wooh boy~)
I’ve lost everything because of you

정말 답답답해 갑갑갑해 막막막해 너 없는 세상이
내 말을 씹어놓고 자존심 짓밟아놓고
내 맘을 찢어놓고 왜 나를 떠나가
Jeongmal dap dap daphae, gap, gap, gaphae
Mak mak makhae, neo eobtneun sesangi
Nae malmameul sshibeo nohgo jajonsim jit balba nohgo
Nae mameul jjijeo nohgo wae nareul tteonaga
I’m speechless, suffocating and lonely
The world without you has
Chewed out my heart
Stomped on my dignity
Torn apart my heart
So why did you leave me behind?


karena lagu yang gw suka biasanya sesuai dengan perasaan hati gw saat menulis
jadi, gw ga perlu berkomentar apa"
lagu ini uda melambangkan semua yang gw rasain

tapi koq music video na ga nyambung sama arti lagu na ya ?
hahaha
MV na cuma joget" doang.. ==a

source: youtube, jpopasia.com

hard gay attack

baru" ini, di kalangan tmen" cosplay saya lagi demam HG
eit, meskipun namanya hard gay, tapi ini bukan tontonan gay koq
jadi ini semacem acara TV di jepang
yang host nya thu seorang yg ga waras *menurut gw*
dy pake baju ketat, kacamata item, dan hot pants
trus sering teriak" norak kayak "okaaaaayyyyy" atau "hadogei desuuuuu"
sambil menggoyangkan pinggulnya. oh my...
ini adalah salah satu contoh tayangan HG



sebenernya norak sih, tapi lucu banget liat kelakuan dy
kalo gw ketemu dy bneran di jalanan, gw juga pasti bakal kabur
serem lha, tampang dan baju kayak preman gitu
dengan teriak" kayak orang gila. haha
padahal dy baik lho, suka bantuin orang,
main sama anak", uda gitu orangnya kuat banget
*pegulat sih..*

ini acara uda lama sih,
tapi gw baru tau dan baru rame di kalangan temen" gw baru" ini
pokoknya, maju terus hadogeiii ~
*mulai menyebar" racun HG*

okaaaayyyyyyy ~~ XD